Poll Finds Most Americans Are Quiet Quitting
According to a Gallup survey, at least half of American workers say they are “quiet quitting”, or performing only the tasks they’re required to, giving up on the idea of…
DNA reveals donkeys were domesticated 7,000 years ago in East Africa
From pulling Mesopotamian war chariots to grinding grain in the Middle Ages, donkeys have carried civilization on their backs for centuries. DNA has now revealed just how ancient humans’ relationship…
Lawyer Informs Royal Family That Queen Has Left Throne To Overall-Wearing Alabama Resident
LONDON—Speaking to the bereaved in the hours after the monarch’s passing, Her Queen’s Counsel Frederick Dingnam reportedly informed the royal family Thursday that Queen Elizabeth II had left the throne…
An AI can decode speech from brain activity with surprising accuracy
An artificial intelligence can decode words and sentences from brain activity with surprising — but still limited — accuracy. Using only a few seconds of brain activity data, the AI…
‘Madden’ Glitch Lets Player Win Super Bowl With Texans
REDWOOD CITY, CA—Following outcry over an issue that was negatively affecting gameplay, developers of Madden NFL 23 told reporters Thursday that they were working to fix a glitch in the…
Ultra-Realistic ‘NBA 2K23’ Update Adds Unexplainable Horseshit Calls
NOVATO, CA—Revealing several new features in the console game ahead of its release, developer Visual Concepts announced Thursday that the ultra-realistic NBA 2K23 update adds unexplainable horseshit calls. “We wanted…
[NOTE: Do Not Run Until Fucking Queen Is Dead Or People Will Lose Their Shit] Queen Elizabeth Dead At 96
[ED. — DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL AWFUL LADY IN THE GROUND] Read more…