Poll Finds Most Americans Are Quiet Quitting
According to a Gallup survey, at least half of American workers say they are “quiet quitting”, or performing only the tasks they’re required to, giving up on the idea of…
Lawyer Informs Royal Family That Queen Has Left Throne To Overall-Wearing Alabama Resident
LONDON—Speaking to the bereaved in the hours after the monarch’s passing, Her Queen’s Counsel Frederick Dingnam reportedly informed the royal family Thursday that Queen Elizabeth II had left the throne…
‘Madden’ Glitch Lets Player Win Super Bowl With Texans
REDWOOD CITY, CA—Following outcry over an issue that was negatively affecting gameplay, developers of Madden NFL 23 told reporters Thursday that they were working to fix a glitch in the…
Ultra-Realistic ‘NBA 2K23’ Update Adds Unexplainable Horseshit Calls
NOVATO, CA—Revealing several new features in the console game ahead of its release, developer Visual Concepts announced Thursday that the ultra-realistic NBA 2K23 update adds unexplainable horseshit calls. “We wanted…
iPhone 14 Camera To Include Director For Highest-Quality Video Yet
CUPERTINO, CA—Boasting that the high-quality video could rival almost any professional film, Apple announced Thursday that the new iPhone 14 camera would come equipped with a Hollywood movie director for…